You step into the role thinking you’ll rely on instinct. You skim a few articles, maybe talk to others who’ve been there, and you remind yourself to stay patient and calm. But Alzheimer’s care has a way of rewriting the rules—sometimes overnight. What worked beautifully last week may suddenly fall flat today.
The good news? While there’s no magic formula, there are practical ways to make each day more manageable, for both you and the person you’re supporting. Often, it starts by knowing what not to do. Here are six common Alzheimer’s caregiver mistakes—and what to try instead.
1. Trying to “win” with logic
When your loved one says, “We haven’t eaten yet” or insists on something you know isn’t true, it’s natural to want to correct them. You might repeat the facts, thinking it will help them understand. But Alzheimer’s changes how the brain processes reality. Reasoning can sometimes make the person feel cornered, leading to more agitation or anxiety.
Instead: Step into their perspective. If they’re worried about catching a train that hasn’t run for years, talk about the trip itself rather than the timetable. You’re not reinforcing a falsehood—you’re meeting them where they feel safest.
2. Correcting every little detail
You may feel the urge to help them “stay oriented” by fixing every mistake: the wrong day, a misremembered name, a detail out of place. But too much correction can feel like criticism, even if that’s not your intention. Over time, it may lead to frustration for both of you.
Instead: Ask yourself—does this correction really matter? If a memory is inaccurate but brings comfort, let it stand. Focus on keeping the emotional connection strong rather than perfecting the facts.
3. Overloading with steps
Everyday instructions that seem simple to you can feel overwhelming to someone with Alzheimer’s. For example, “Get your shoes, grab your jacket, and let’s go outside” might be too much to process at once. The brain has to juggle multiple instructions while also managing the emotions tied to the task.
Instead: Keep it simple. Give one short, clear direction at a time. Pause between steps and use a calm tone. The slower pace isn’t about lowering expectations—it’s about setting them up for success.
4. Taking behavior changes personally
It’s heartbreaking when a once-warm relationship shifts. You may face moments of anger, suspicion, or emotional distance, and it can feel deeply personal. But these behaviors are not about you; they’re symptoms of a brain under stress.
Instead: Remind yourself that their core self is still there. They may not always recognize you in the same way, but your presence, tone, and care still matter deeply.
5. Talking around them rather than to them
When speaking becomes difficult, it’s tempting to make decisions without their input or to answer on their behalf. While it may seem efficient, it can make the person feel invisible. People with Alzheimer’s still pick up on tone, energy, and whether they are being respected.
Instead: Address them directly. Use simple, yes-or-no questions when possible. Make eye contact and include them in the conversation, even if their verbal responses are slow or minimal.
6. Ignoring your own needs
Caregiving can slip into autopilot—checking tasks off the list, managing emergencies, keeping everything afloat. Without realizing it, you may be running on empty. Over time, exhaustion can affect your health, patience, and emotional resilience.
Instead: Recognize that caring for yourself is part of caring for them. Accept help early, not only when you’ve reached your breaking point. Consider respite care or in-home support so you can rest, recharge, and come back with renewed patience and energy.
Why there’s no single “right” way
Alzheimer’s care is a constant learning process. Some days will feel like wins; others will leave you feeling drained. Both are part of the journey. It’s about small adjustments, patience with yourself, and remembering that perfection isn’t the goal—presence is.
You can’t always control the disease, but you can control how you respond, the tone you set, and the moments you create together.
When it feels like too much, we can help
At CareFor, we know how overwhelming this role can be. Our Alzheimer’s care services are designed to bring structure, calm, and dignity to each day, while giving family caregivers breathing room. Our team is skilled in creative, compassionate approaches that make challenging situations easier.
We’re supporting families in Austin, Georgetown, San Marcos, and surrounding communities, and we’d be honored to support yours too. Call us at (512) 338-4533 to find the relief, guidance, and partnership you’ve been looking for.